


Compromising The Heart

by Sporadic_fics



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), best friend! steve rogers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-07-10 08:13:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19902580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sporadic_fics/pseuds/Sporadic_fics
Summary: This was called 'Compromised' but I changed the title.Bucky Barnes’ life is pretty good now. He isn’t an asset for Hydra, instead, he works with the Avengers only doing missions he wants to do (unless it is an end of the world mission) and he has his best friend by his side. It is on one of these missions that he finds her and he isn’t sure why he feels so protective over her.Follow Bucky Barnes trying to figure out who he was, who he is and who he could potentially be in this multi-chapter fic.This will be several chapters.





	1. Chapter 1

“You remember the objective, Buck?” James Buchanan Barnes, now more known as Bucky Barnes, rolled his eyes knowing full well Steve couldn’t see him. 

“Yes, Steve. Collect the box and bring it back. No casualties.” Bucky could picture the box in his mind, it was small and brown with carvings of swirling patterns on it. He had seen photos of it in a file that Steve had shoved under his face earlier that day.

“You still okay to do this?” Bucky pulled the binoculars up to his eyes to look through the window and hummed in response. Usually, Bucky would have brought his sniper rifle and set it up outside of the building so he could track his target but lately, his rifle had made him feel sick. 

Today his target was the box but he had to make sure everyone was out of the giant house. He hadn’t seen any movement in almost twenty minutes since the wife and husband had left but he was still making sure there was nobody else there. It was only when Sam mentioned that the couple had parked at a fancy hotel that he decided to move.

He looked at the building, judged the distance and angle between himself and the roof, and then jumped. His metal hand grabbed the edge of the roof and quickly pulled himself up so his legs didn’t dangle. Even with no one in the house, he had to be careful.

He liked the roof, if he had to pick a house just for its roof purposes then he would pick this one. It had a partial glass roof which he appreciated, he could imagine the sound of the rain on it and the sounds of birds walking across it. He closed his eyes for a second enjoying the thoughts of peace before he started his quiet walk across the roof. 

At the end of the glass was some sort of door-cum-latch that led to a balcony at the top of the roof, it was a stargazer's dream. It would have been heavy to lift for an average human but he lifted it with ease, looked below the latch and then lowered himself down. He was surprised by the lights being on, Why would a couple leave lights on if they were going to a hotel for a few nights?

He didn’t dawdle, instead, he moved swiftly towards the master bedroom. Sam had used a drone to find where the box was the day before and had told him it was in the master bedroom. So he went there. He walked passed a gym, a room with a large TV in it, a set of stairs and a room that smelled of vanilla and roses. His curiosity almost got the better of him but then he reminded himself of the objective and carried on towards the bedroom.

“Almost there, Steve.” He whispered, the paranoia of someone lurking was still there. Steve responded with encouragement. 

The bedroom was too neat for Bucky’s liking and he wrinkled his nose at how it showed no personality. Of course, the rich people show off everything but the one private place they have and it has zero personality. It was right there on the bedside table, with no protection at all. Still, he grabbed a wrapper from his pocket only to roll it up and lightly throw it at the box. Nothing happened.

He made a quick grab for it and started his way back to the rooftop. Whenever he had to do an objective like this he would get a spike of anxiety, always thinking that whenever he grabbed something then there would be someone running after him. Nine times out of ten he was wrong, no one would follow him.

This though, well this was an occasion where he was correct. Just as he went up the flight of stairs he ran into a woman. She let out a surprised yelp before jumping back a foot into the wall. He assessed her; she was quite tall, curvy, dressed in pajama bottoms and a tank top: her chest was heaving and her face was pale as if she had seen a ghost.

“Are you good or bad this time? Either way, I suggest letting your buddy Captain America know.” Bucky was flabbergasted, to say the least, losing his composure for a second with his jaw-dropping before he tilted his head and pointed to a quite obvious earpiece as Steve laughed in his ear. 

“I’m good,” Bucky grumbled.

She nodded warily, still pressed against the wall to keep her distance.

“What have you got there?” Her fingers tapped against the wall as she moved, her posture relaxing in the slightest. “In your hand, what is it?”

Bucky deftly swapped the box into his other hand to then push it into his back pocket and then waved his free hands with a face of mock wonder. Or at least he tried that, he was still struggling with faking expressions.

“What? Nothing is in my hand?” Her eyes narrowed but he noticed how her breathing stuttered and how her eyes shifted behind him. Her lips parted, releasing a small gasp as she went to speak. The sniper had a shaky hand as Bucky saw the red dot of the laser slip onto the wall.

Bucky was quick, a lucky enhancement from the unfortunate experiments he had endured, and jumped at her so he could grab her and run to cover all the while muttering the words ‘Shit, shit, shit’.

“Need a safe way out. Now!” Bucky heard scrambling through the earpiece and pulled her close to him as they hid behind a thick column in the house. Gunshots rang out through the house and she trembled against him as he sorted weaponry out.

“Please tell me you have shot a gun before,” Bucky wanted to die then and there when she shook her head, yes. He thrust a gun into her hands. “Hey Pal, I need you to hurry up because I only have two guns and one knife- not a lot of ammo.”

“Sorry, sorry, having to type in a lot of code and get in contact with a few people to get you out of there,” even more scrambling happened through his earpiece. “Stark! I need you. We need an emergency jet. Bucky and a civilian have multiple shooters on them.”

He crouched before looking around the column to shoot at one of the imposters. His aim caught the guy right between the eyes and he couldn’t help the grin on his face. One down. Bucky looked left and right keeping the woman close to him. Usually, he would have gone out and just fired every bullet he had and then gone for melee attacks with his knife but he was a good person now and he had to protect people, not attack them. Then they heard an explosion, it was loud and it made their bones vibrate.

“Tell me why you came here.” It was a demand, softly whispered into his chest. “If I am going to die, I want to know why.”

“Death is not an option,” this time there were more bullets flying through the walls. “The box is supposed to have something in it that helps…” 

“Helps?” 

“It helps save the world apparently.” Bucky was looking around as he spoke and his eyes landed on a door. It wasn’t far away and if his judgment was correct then it was the room that smelled of vanilla and rose, just like the woman in his arms. Assuming it was a bedroom, then that meant windows and windows were a good exit.

“Cap, there is a bedroom in front of me. It has windows and it is directly opposite the stairs.” 

“Got it. It’s coming in soon, just be ready when I give you the signal.” Steve’s voice gave him some reassurance but the gunfire was getting worse. Bucky held her closer.

“I’m going to get a signal and it means we are going to have to run through that bedroom and out of the window.” She nodded into his chest as she tried to block out the noises of the gunshots. He counted backward in his head from one hundred three times, in both English and Russian, waiting for the signal.

The signal did come, it was a simple ‘finally’ from Steve, and Bucky jumped up, looked around quickly and ran to the bedroom. As he ran through the bedroom with his gun raised, the woman wrapped around his waist and shooting at the window he noticed that the room had watercolor paintings of beautiful views. 

The window was smashed and he could see the entrance of the quinjet in front of him, so he hefted her up with his metal arm and jumped as far as he could with his ears ringing from the gunshots she was firing. He landed in the quinjet, the door quickly closing, but his leg gave out and he tumbled. Luckily he managed to wrap his arms around her and turn before she landed on the cold metal with her back. He quickly pulled away after she laid on the floor and cursed letting his hand travel down his thigh to find the bullet that had caught him. His eyes met Steve’s.

“Cap, why the fuck was there a civilian in the house. You and Falcon said it was empty.”

“It was supposed to be.” Steve knelt down and grabbed the box from Bucky’s non-bloodied hand before Tony’s robots pushed him out of the way to assess his damage. 

“Cap, it’s an honor and everything but I don’t think I’m supposed to bleed this much.” Steve turned to her, the woman on the floor clutching her stomach with wide eyes. Bucky pushed the robots towards her insisting that she needed it more, after all, he could heal quicker and only got a thigh shot. 

The robots were quick and efficient removing the bullet and patching her up after Steve huddled her into a medical room. She was also a fast healer like Bucky, but he didn’t need to know that just yet. Steve stayed with her after the robots checked her out and he rubbed a hand over his hair. He looked exhausted and a little guilty.

“How did I not know you were there?”

“I’m good at being invisible Steve, you should know this by now.” She was sitting up now, staring at the hole and stain in her tank with a frown. “How is he? He didn’t recognize me.”

Steve passed her a shirt, there was a small collection of clothes in the medical rooms to make sure that people could change into something more comfortable, and sat next to her with his eyes averted as she changed into the shirt. “He has good days and bad days. Sometimes it is as if he remembers everything and we can be laughing about a memory, and then I bring someone or something up and I see him falter because he doesn’t actually fully remember.”

She massaged Steve’s shoulders feeling the knots in his back and sighing. She had known Steve and Bucky just before the war had started, Steve was so skinny back then and Bucky was cocky but his heart was always in the right place. She missed the days where they would sit on the steps of her apartment, Bucky having all of his attention on her and Steve, Steve drawing something and she would be listening to them talk. They would end up laughing about anything and nothing at all until Steve would cough and Bucky would drag him inside and wrap him in the thickest blanket she owned.

“I want to mention you, I do, but I’m scared he will spiral or something. When I mentioned Logan he freaked out, asked me who he was, how we knew him. After that, he just zoned out for hours.” Her heart ached as he whispered the words letting his guard down and she wondered how long it had been since he last let someone in.

“It’s okay, I understand.” She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a kiss on the cheek before getting up. Her body hurt even though she had mostly healed from the bullet that had gone through her when Bucky had swung her around his body to protect her. She was genuinely surprised that he wasn’t injured more than he was. “Where are we headed, Steve?”

“The new Avengers headquarters. It’s a safe space and we will be there in a few minutes actually.” Steve, all muscle now, held the crook of his elbow towards her so she could grab onto it. It was a small thing but it reminded her of when they were younger. Ever since he came back from the ice she had made an effort to see him as much as she could, but it was hard with all the world ending crises and her not being able to get involved since, well, since the incident happened. 

Her hands felt clammy at the thought of being at the Avengers headquarters. She would never be worthy of being there, all the unlawful killing she had to do during the wars and Shield back when it was Hydra. “I think it will be best if I don’t go Steve. I don’t belong in places like that.”

She walked to the door of the quinjet, ignoring Bucky’s furrowed brow when he saw that she wasn’t injured anymore. The doors opened and Steve tried to protest, but she was already trying to find her way out of the huge area that was Steve’s new home.

“At least take my bike!” Now that won her over, she loved a motorcycle. She loved how the engine would roar to life and how fast she could go on it, so she held her hands out to catch the keys that Steve had thrown at her. The motorcycle was close by as the quinjet had landed next to the entrance of the mansion, so she straddled the seat and let the bike come to life, her body thrumming in excitement to the sensation of the new bike.

Steve placed his jacket on her shoulder so she could put it on and she noticed Bucky putting two fingers up to his temple, his eyes glazed with confusion. Steve followed her concerned glance and practically sprinted towards him leaving her to speed into the night. 

When she got home to her apartment she crumpled against the door trying to process what had happened. She had been at the house for over a month to try and steal the box, being careful and even faking how she was the owners' estranged niece and Bucky (along with Steve and Sam) had the audacity of going in there and ruining it all. A little voice in the back of her head reminded her of the people who had shot at her and Bucky, and she bit her lip until it bled. Who were they? 

Steve, who was it after us? I’d been there weeks with no one thinking anything of it so why tonight?

She text Steve on his personal phone, it was a number he had only given to close friends. He texted back with a short honest reply of ‘I don’t know, I’m sorry you got hurt.’ She deleted the messages making sure that if anything ever happened to her then people couldn’t know that the pair had any contact.

Her bed was calling her name and she slumped into it, reaching for a face wipe to wipe away the pollution of the day and throwing it into the bin. Everything about Bucky was on her mind; his face and how his hair was longer and his eyes were slightly colder than when they were in the war, his voice had become softer as if to not scare her away and the feel of his cool metal arm had made her shiver. She knew that this Bucky was going to be different from the one she knew before Hydra got him and she wanted to learn everything about the new Bucky. 

She wondered if they, the avengers, are what made him laugh now and whether he was still self-conscious of being too loud in front of women and men that he found attractive. She wondered if he still loved to dance and softly sing the song as he twirled whoever he danced with. Did he still struggle to hide his laughter when Steve did something stupid? 

With Bucky in her thoughts, she curled up and slept with memories and fantasies of him.

The next day she packed her bags. There weren’t many and most of her important stuff was in a very secure storage facility. She should have packed the night before and left then, but she was so tired and so in her head that risked it. 

One minute, she was about to text Steve saying he should pick up his bike and she was keeping his jacket as she was leaving, and the next her body was being lifted through the air by a force she hadn’t felt in years only to drop with a giant thud on the floor with debris around her. Fuck explosions.

She quickly put her backpack on, tying the second bag she owned to the strap and ran to the window and jumped. It was while she was falling that she realized that this was the second night in a row that she had to fall out of a window.

A tall man dressed in black went to slice at her with a knife, but she spun and grabbed her own from her calf to attack him. She was an efficient killer and the knife went through the bottom of his jaw and up to his brain only to be pulled out and slashed against his throat. She repeated this action with two other men before jumping onto Steve’s bike and getting the hell out of there.

When she managed to lose the three cars following her, so she pulled her phone out of her pocket and jammed it into the phone holder near the handlebars to ring Steve. She was incredibly happy that her earphones were still situated nice and snug in her ears because now she could yell at Steve.

“Those pricks!” Steve blanched at the sound of his friend yelling through the phone and the obvious noise of wind around her. Clint raised an eyebrow, Tony’s eyes widened in recognition of the voice and Bucky just lazily lolled his head to the side when he heard her yell. “Any chance you know of a safe place I can get to? My nearest one is way too far for my injury from yesterday.”

“You can stay here at the headquarters. I will get Friday to find you and give you a secure route to here.” It was Tony who spoke up, Friday already pulling up surveillance and satellite images of her parked somewhere hunched over and pressing a hand to her stomach.

“I can’t,” They watched as her body slumped a little bit and how her chest heaved. “I will just bring you danger.” 

“Get here now.” Steve saw her phone flash with a map route and she tiredly nodded and revved the bike so she could take off. Steve spoke to her the entire ride and paced back and forth with worry flowing off of him in heavy waves. Clint was watching her drive the motorcycle, impressed with how she rode it. She was quick, good at corners and not afraid to go over high ramps and over paths to shorten the ride. Bucky closed his eyes because of the stress headache that was forming and Tony was pulling up records to the side, trying to be as far out of sight as possible. He did, however, turn to Steve showing him a photo of Steve and herself during the war, they were both sat down staring at someone and smiling softly. When Tony skipped to another image it turned out to be Bucky, so Tony quickly swiped all the files away.

They heard the bike and the garage opened for her to pull the bike up to a quick stop before she collapsed onto the floor. Her body was in agony as she hadn’t done any combat in a long time, never mind being shot and having to heal it as quickly as she could. She blacked out just as a metal arm went to grab her to keep her from falling.

She had been in the medical bay for almost two days. It turns out that she had fully healed but there was a toxin on the bullet that had made her cells die around the area so it would technically unheal. As soon as Bruce found out he had demanded that Bucky come to the med bay so he could be checked as well.

Bucky also had the toxin and his healing was a lot slower than her but he wasn’t worried, he didn’t heal overnight and he never would so the pain that consumed his thigh felt normal. He was laid on his stomach clutching a pillow as the medical bots prodded around his thigh trying to clean away the toxins. He also had a drip in his arm when they noticed how dehydrated he was which Bucky found incredulous considering he had drunk bottles upon bottles of water that day as no amount seemed to quench his thirst.

His head was turned so he could see her. She was on a bed just like he was but she was asleep with several drips and other medical equipment attached to her. They, Bruce and Tony, said she would be fine and that she just needed rest, but Bucky couldn’t look away from her. Maybe it was because when he had met her a few days previously he had gone into protection mode and he hadn’t quite come out of it yet.

Bucky had asked Steve who she was after she sped away on his bike and Steve had just told him that she was ex-Shield… Which wasn’t a lie but Steve’s stomach churned at the thought of keeping it a secret any longer. It was the same feeling he had when he found out that Bucky had killed Tony’s parents and couldn’t tell him. All Steve wanted was for his friend to have a breakthrough, even if it was just a small glimpse of her in his past. Steve could talk about her then, only small things until Bucky remembered more of her.

Bucky, although still curious, was happy to just stare at her. To map her body with his eyes. As he watched her, a memory resurfaced- it was blurry, not at all clear but it was of him and a woman dancing. His arm was around her waist and the fabric on his arm was dark brown, it also had a green look to it, and the music playing was quite upbeat. Whoever was dancing with him was laughing and was wearing a suit like his own but they had beautiful curves, fitting just right in his arms. He wondered if the woman was Peggy, maybe she danced with him. 

“Steve?” He was still there, sat between the two on the beds rubbing his hands together in an anxious manner. “Have you got that 1940s playlist?” 

Steve nodded numbly telling Friday to play it quietly for Bucky. Bucky listened to it for hours (Steve had added a lot of songs) trying to hear the song that was playing in his head. Instead of finally hearing it, he fell asleep, so Steve draped a blanket over him knowing Bucky slept a lot better with a blanket or something he could curl into. 

He was still asleep when she woke up. She was a little dazed and she noticed a note that was on her heart rate monitor telling her where she was and who to call if she needed anyone. Her torso was tender but she could move freely, so she sat up and looked at the sleeping bundle on the bed next to her. She could see Bucky’s long hair that had fallen over his eyes and he was curled up into a tight ball. Before she could think against doing it, she swept the hair that had fallen over his mouth to behind his ear. A noise of contentment left his lips as he nuzzled gently into her fingers.

She pulled her fingers back quickly and cradled them to her chest wondering how touch starved Bucky was for him to nuzzle into her like that. The ache in her chest amplified and she fought the tears that burned at her eyes.

She pulled out the drip in her arm despite Friday’s protests and she even locked her eyes with Tony, a determined look on her face as she pulled it out fully. Her bags were on the other side of the bed, so she grabbed it and went for the door. The hallway had a big majority of the Avengers there and her hands clenched into fists with her body automatically going into fight mode. 

“Your room is up the stairs with a note on the door.” Steve gave her a look, a look that told her to just do it and usually she would start a fight, not liking that she was being bossed around, but the bags under his eyes quickly shut her protests up.

“I won’t be here long, I just have to find out how compromised I am and which safe house I should go to.” They walked her to the kitchen where she poured herself some water. She was trying to process everything, her mind still racing at how she had seen Bucky and how people had shot her. And Bucky, they had shot him and when she saw the blood around his thigh her heart stopped.

“You can stay as long as you want,” Tony spoke up with a little scowl. “I mean it is a home for heroes but retired, lazy heroes can stay here as well I guess.” 

She wasn’t the only one who gave a reaction. Clint’s jaw dropped and he went to fiddle with one of his hearing aids when the awkward tension filled the room, Natasha raised a brow, Bucky (who had entered the room looking sleepily delirious) shook his head with a scowl and Steve looked like he was about to start violently stomping on Tony’s head.

“There is nothing wrong about retiring from a long life of being a hero baby Stark,” She rolled her aching shoulder before putting her hand on her chin pretending to be deep in thought. “In fact, wasn’t it your dad who told me to retire? I mean we could ask Friday…”

Her tone was positively icy and she stood with her bags to go to her new room, patting Steve on his shoulder. “Good to be here with you Captain.”

“Wait wasn’t that-” Steve placed his hand over Bucky’s mouth, turned him around and pushed him out of the room all the while saying ‘Nope’.

Bucky could sometimes mix up his memories. The dates could be completely wrong sometimes so he couldn’t quite grasp how Howard Stark could tell the woman, who he still needed to find the name of, to retire when Bucky had killed him in 1991. Surely she must have been a child when he told her to retire? Bucky had a frown on his face for a long time trying to figure out how it worked but then gave up because, at this point, anything was possible.

She emptied her bags onto the bed so she could put away some clothes in the bedside table to last her for the next few days. During the process, she found the metal tin that had all of her important (and fake) documents in. She opened the tin to see her old war medals shining up at her and a wave of nausea hit her. She wasn’t proud of being in wars, of killing people. The first war she was in, she was forced by the government. It was either going into the war or being imprisoned until she eventually died. The second war, she only joined so she could protect Steve and Bucky. The Smithsonian had wanted her medals and other war memorabilia but she had refused, not wanting to glorify the killings she had done. In return the Smithsonian had removed her name from everything, only showing photos of her in her old uniform and mask and naming her ‘unknown woman’. She wasn’t mad, in fact, she was happy because whenever she thought back to the war she only remembered killing a lot of people and her best friends dying.

The only person from her squadron who had survived the war was Isaiah Bradley, he was an old man now in a home but he had been the only constant she had after the war. She had a feeling that Logan had survived but it had been decades since she last saw him. 

There were good memories she had of the war where it would be her and her friends all safe and having a genuine laugh, but sometimes those dark memories and guilt took over and distorted them to make the memories ugly. So back to the tin the old medals went.

She understood why Tony was mad, she could have helped stop a lot of events that happened but she liked her life when she retired. She owned a club which was a safe place for anyone and she could take a step back from things, the only reason she was on a mission to get the box was because she knew that it had something to do with Thor and surely something to do with a god had great importance so her curiosity got the better of her and she researched it after hearing the old couple brag about it at an art auction. It was always good to have sharp ears.  
She grabbed her phone and typed in the password so she could go onto the note app and wrote: Ask Steve what the hell is going on with the box and people chasing me. Other than being able to listen to music and communicate, she thought the best thing about her phone was being able to write notes as she always seemed to lose a pen when she needed it the most. 

She sat on the bed before leaning back. Somehow it was comfier than the couples house she had pretended to be the niece of but she missed the sky roof that they had. It was a personal favorite, especially when she could go on the concrete part of it to use the telescope. The couple were actually nice to say they were Hydra, taking her in and being nothing but kind to her but just the fact of them being Hydra made her want to stab them over and over. The couple were actually on the very small kill list that she had. The list only really consisted of two people and that was the couple, however, on some days where she was particularly annoyed with herself, she would jot her name down too. 

A knock wrapped on her door before Steve called out, asking if he could come in. She called back to him and scooted over on the bed so Steve could lay with her.

“The box is Asgardian isn’t it?” 

“Yeah, it’s why we were getting it. To give back to Thor when he eventually returns from wherever he is now.” Steve’s heavy eyes closed as he spoke. “Apparently if you manage to open the box there is some cosmic force and Thor heard about it and told us to get it for him so he could destroy it.”

She pulled his arm up so she could hug into him, his muscles a nice comforting pillow for her. He made sure to wrap his arms around her tightly, it was something they had done even when Steve was skinny. They would just lay there in silence most times to enjoy each other's company as they both used to exert a calmness. It was ironic as when Steve and Bucky walked together in public it would be Bucky slightly ahead of him who was calm and Steve would be behind him more than likely ranting about some bully, Steve was always the storm.

“I’m sorry about Tony.”

“Please, don’t worry about it.” She pursed her lips. “He’s right to be mad, I could have helped a lot more than I did.” During the worst events, she did try and help, she tried to evacuate people and only kill people if they were explicitly after her or the people she was helping.

“You had your reasons sweetheart. A lot of people in this world have powers and I can guarantee that only a small amount are using them to help people because not everyone is up for fighting and risking their lives.”

“Bucky was in the med bay, is he okay?”

“Yeah, the bullets you were both shot with had toxins in them and Bruce was worried about it affecting Bucky as well as you but it is all sorted now. Both of you have zero toxins.” She relaxed even more into his embrace and nodded. “By the way, you do belong here.” 

With that, Steve kissed her forehead before drifting into sleep. She liked how affectionate Steve could be now as back in the days of the war he was always stiff, not very good with touching people but now he had relaxed more and learned how to show his affection through not only words but his actions as well.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: blood mention, violence in terms of sparring with a friend

When she woke up hours later Steve was gone and he had picked her up and put her under the covers of her bed. It was understandable that she was so tired, apparently, the toxin was supposed to be slow-releasing and gave a slow death. Tony was still checking everything he possibly could on the issue to make sure nothing else happened and it was clear by the dark purple bags under his eyes that he had been researching for hours upon hours.

“Did you have to act like that with her?”

Steve perched next to Tony with his arms folded as Tony tapped away at something in front of him. Tony didn’t answer, instead, he just pulled up more files through Friday before pausing. His hand was lifted in the air to stroke his goatee and he let out a sigh.

“Do you not realize how many lives we could have saved with her on the team?”

“I know Tony but she has been fighting since before the first world war. That is a lot of fights to partake in and a lot of deaths to witness.” Steve looked down. “We have been through god knows how many fights and invasions in the past few years so imagine how many she has been through.”

Tony still looked at him with stubbornness still in his eyes and opened his mouth to say something but he just sighed and went back to work. With a roll of his eyes, Steve started walking away. “Get a good night’s sleep, Tony.”

Steve had developed a habit of checking in on everyone at the mansion, just making sure they were there and that they were okay. He would also double check all of his messages before he went to bed to make sure no one needed anything and check his messages when he woke up to make sure nothing happened. Some may call him paranoid, he would just call himself a worried friend.

He walked to Bucky’s bedroom, knocked on the door and entered when Bucky made a loud hum in response. They often shared a room, especially if they were on a mission, so that when Bucky woke up from the inevitable nightmares then Steve would be there for him. Steve will always be there for him, after all the years he missed he wouldn’t leave him again.

He laid on the bed next to Bucky and he appreciated that in less than six hours he had fallen asleep with not only the woman who saved his life on multiple occasions and classed as one of his closest friends but that he had laid in bed and planned to fall asleep with his best friend. It reminded him of the war when it was cold and the three of them would bundle up together to try and stay as warm as possible.

“How is your leg?”

“Fine,” Bucky stretched his legs, jolting slightly at the leg that was still healing. “Steve, who is she?”

“An old hero. Mainly famous from the sixties and seventies. I’ve been talking to her since I came out of the ice as she tried to help me get to grips with the present day.” Steve looked at Bucky’s face, a look of wonder on his face. Was Bucky having a breakthrough? Could Steve finally tell his best friend about the woman who had lived with them at one point? He decided to push it, he wouldn’t give Bucky the nickname that he had called her, or her full name but he would give her the name he had been calling her since he came out of the ice. 

“Her name is Astra, it isn’t her full name but she has gone by it for a few years. New passport and documents and all so people don’t get suspicious of the woman who doesn’t age.”

“Why doesn’t she age?”

“She used to say it was a gift from the gods. I can’t remember the specific gods as she has mentioned lots through the years.” Bucky was deep in thought, nothing made sense, but maybe in a way, everything did make sense. Bucky was learning that the most impossible things were in fact possible. Steve’s phone beeped with a message.

Can we spar tomorrow morning?

It was her, Steve knew that she must be itching to do something. Her mind buzzing with what to do about the issues at hand so he sent a confirmation text.

“I’m going to spar with her tomorrow. You should join us.” Bucky shook his head, he may be a fast healer due to the serum but he knew that his leg would probably give out on him if he had sparred. “You don’t have to spar with us, you can watch.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky was sitting on a mat against the wall in a baggy tank top and sweatpants watching Steve stretch with Sam as he waited for her. Steve wore sweatpants, an under armor shirt and his shield was next to Bucky. 

She entered the room wearing tight galaxy print leggings and a sports bra, her stomach on show and the bullet would have healed over leaving a bright red line, which would more than likely get smaller as time went by. Bucky noticed that on her leggings she had a gun holster and knife harnesses, and they were being used. This got his attention as he would wear those, especially when out on a mission and something about how she wore them with confidence made him feel somewhat at home. Something told him that she was no longer retired.

“Sorry I’m late, I had to pick up some things.” She walked up to Bucky and placed a large bottle of water next to him for safekeeping before grasping Steve’s shield and throwing it at him. “Help yourself if you are thirsty Bucky.”

Steve outright grinned as she walked to the sparring area, finally, he could let loose and fight without thinking he was going to hurt someone. Sam sat next to Bucky to watch the two fighters in front of him lunge at each other. 

It started off slow for a minute as the pair judged each other, lunged and grappled. They were clearly trying to figure out how strong each other were as they hadn’t sparred in over seventy years. It soon went into sparring as hard as they could. Steve would throw a punch or jab with his shield and she would counter with a simple dodge or a dodge where she would spin and kick him. 

Clint stopped doing his push-ups to watch the two fight. They were both fast and some of the maneuvers were almost a blur, especially when she somehow managed to get her legs around his back and put him in a chokehold. Steve’s only choice was to groan and flip onto his back to get her to release him. She held on tight but when she got slammed again and hit her head her arms lost the tight hold and Steve managed to get out of it. For a second, Bucky’s breath caught in his chest when her head hit the mat with a loud thud but when she got up with a grin on her face, he found he could breathe again. 

She pulled out a small knife that she flipped a few times in her hand to get the feel of it before giving another grin to Steve and going for the kill. Steve, surprised by her speed only just had time to block the attack with his shield. A bigger crowd of the avengers stared at the two fighting each other and Tony even got Jarvis to record it so he could send it to the other Avengers that weren’t there with a simple note of ‘everyone step up’.

Realization dawned on Bucky as he watched her knife work, she had aimed the blade away from Steve so whenever she went for a hit the worst he would get is the butt of the handle. Other than that, she wasn’t pulling her punches. They were both bloody but grinning with little pants of exertion. Steve landed a shield hit on her head, a hit that was a little too hard (when they went to headshots they were both careful because whether they had healing or not, headshots sucked) and she tumbled to the ground. It took every bit of willpower that Bucky had not to get up and see that she was okay but she stood up and nodded when Steve asked if she was okay.

Bucky could tell that she could fight the best of the best, especially if this was her out of action for almost thirty years, and could tell that she didn’t need help but the tightness around his chest and the worry in his head made it clear that he wanted to protect her. 

When they finished they were both heavily panting and gained a round of applause when they shook each other's hand. Steve looked more relaxed as he had used the sparring as therapy and she looked like she was buzzing with energy. Her eyes darted around the room and when they landed on a board that had clear knife marks in it she threw every knife she had at it. The first landed slightly off the target she aimed for but the other knives hit true. It was only then that she nodded and went to get the drink that Bucky was with. She drank just under half of what was left (Bucky had tentative sips when he was watching her, thankful for the water cooling his warm body) before thrusting it towards Steve. 

It all felt so familiar and Bucky ended shooting up and walking out of the gym clutching his fingers to his temple as a headache came on. Steve called out to him and he shook his hand, a simple leave it be gesture. 

She looked at Steve with a worried glance before looking down. This hurt her more than she could imagine and it wasn’t just because Bucky had forgotten her but because he was so frustrated and Steve slumped next to her.

The shower she was in was nice and cold and the blood she had accumulated (there wasn’t that much actually) turned the water pink as it drained away. It also washed away her frustrated tears. Tony was right, she should have been there and fought and she should not have just given up when life got hard. She could have saved so many people but she decided to just wallow in her sadness.

She changed in the bathroom putting on some shorts on a tank with the weather being so warm to only jump with surprise when she found Bucky on her bed with his head in his hands. Bucky didn’t seem all that with it, he didn’t move when she closed the door rather loudly, he didn’t even look up, rather he kept looking into space as if she wasn’t there.

So she walked up to him calling his name softly as to not startle him but he kept staring into space until she crouched so they were both eye level and gently poked his hand. It was only then that he acknowledged her and his metal hand wrapped around her throat before quickly pulling back stammering an apology.

“Don’t worry about it, you were spacing.” She shrugged, not affected by him trying to choke her in the slightest. “You realize you are in my room right?”

“You are very familiar,” she froze as he looked at her, she a vulnerable edge to him and she almost told him everything then and there. “I fought you as him didn’t I? As the Winter Soldier?”

She sat down on the window seat and ran her tongue across her teeth in deep thought before she nodded. “Yeah, a few times actually.”

“Is that why you were scared of me when I was at the house?” He was horrified at the thought of trying to hurt another person and it felt like a punch to the gut for that to be the reason she was afraid of him.

“No, I was afraid of what they did to you.” She tried to swallow the lump in her throat. “The last time we fought it was ugly, they made you do some awful stuff and I was afraid that Hydra were going to make you do it again. I wasn’t scared for me, I was scared for your conscience.”

He found that odd and questioned why someone would worry about another’s conscience but she was really good friends with Steve so maybe she was more of a compassionate soul. 

“I’m sorry.” He was sorry, sorrier than he had been in a long time but this made sense now. This could have meant that at the time he was gaining memories and conscience and he got wiped after. Most of his memories revolve around just before he would get wiped so it made sense for him to have these weird feelings for her. At the time he was probably screaming at himself to stop because he was confused.

“Don’t be, it isn’t your fault.” Her stomach rumbled and she laughed. “Come on, let's get some food.”

They walked to the kitchen in silence and Bucky found himself trying not to look at her too often. When he looked at her he wondered what he had done and why was trying to analyze everything about her. Maybe it was because in the back of his head he still saw her as an enemy?

She hesitated before getting food remembering that it wasn’t her house and that she couldn’t eat anything like the food more than likely belonged to someone else. Bucky, on the other hand, was rummaging through the fridge for anything he could find and only paused when he saw that she stood still in the kitchen.

“I thought you were hungry?” A blush rose on her cheeks as she rubbed her neck.

“I don’t own any of the food here.” Bucky blinked at her. She had technically been here a few days and she hadn’t had any food? 

“Get whatever you want. Friday orders food when we run low and don’t have time to buy any.”

She peeked under Bucky’s arm to have a look at what was in to find it full. An apple caught her eye so she picked that up, some lettuce and some chicken. Bucky was still behind her trying to calm his breathing as she accidentally rubbed against his side, the feeling of familiarity was almost too much. 

“Is there any bread?”

Bucky moved away as quickly as possible to grab the bread and give it to her. As he got a plate for the sandwich he had made earlier (with a note that said ‘B’ on the top of the wrapping that covered it) his mind went into overdrive and he almost walked out to get some fresh air and clear his mind but he stayed when he heard her humming a song. A song that was incredibly familiar and he closed his eyes for a second to see himself teaching Steve to dance when they were young, it almost brought him to his knees.

_“Okay so remember what I said.” Steve, so young and thin, nodded but looked unsure. “Deep breaths pal. In and out. Then dance.”_

_Steve was dancing with someone else as Bucky told them what to do and their female companion had laughed softly when Steve stumbled. She wasn’t being malicious as Bucky heard her say that Steve was doing amazing to say he hadn’t danced like this before. She was right._

_Steve was wearing slacks, a baggy shirt (even though it was the smallest one they could find) and suspenders while his partner wore a long blue dress that seemed to follow her figure._

He couldn’t recognize the woman in the memory. Her laugh and her voice was just a generic female sound in his head and her face was blurry, it was like that for a lot of people who were in his memories. He couldn’t remember what half of the Howling Commandos looked like and he had been to the Smithsonian several times and voices were just generic. He hated it but at least he could remember Steve.

“Isn’t that song a little old for you?” 

She stopped, her face bright red. “I’m older than I look and I have a lot of records from the 1940s.” She tried to carry on with making her sandwich but she didn’t carry on humming the song. Bucky wished he never opened his mouth.

“You can carry on, I like that song.”

Tony was talking to Friday, asking whether there had been any unusual behavior near the compound when Friday showed the clip of Astra humming a song and Bucky was looking at her as he washed the dishes with a look Tony had never seen. He felt bad for the guy. 

“Friday give me anything you can get on Astra from World War two.” 

Friday brought up zero files. “Sir there isn’t an Astra, however, there is an Astria.”

There were several files now that came up. There were photos of a woman in a mask, delicate and only hiding her eyes, with Steve Rogers. Photos of her, still in the mask with the Howling Commandos and another squadron of men. One photo was of her and three other women, they all wore the same mask and uniform and were next to motorbikes. The last photo he saw was of a woman with no mask and she was currently upstairs humming but in this photo, she was laughing with a Bucky who had shorter hair then. They were so at ease.

The next few files that came up were now documents and records. It showed what medals she had been awarded, how many kills she had done, what squadrons and missions she had been a part of, where and when she was born.

_Oh shit._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter three of this series! 
> 
> Bucky and Astra get to know each other better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for: a brief (and not descriptive) death/suicide mention
> 
> I would like to thank A03 user 'betheflame' (@betheflame on tumblr) for proofreading this  
> I would also like to thank 'Wrestlingfae' (same user name on tumblr) for just being there for me whilst I ranted and raved about this fic

It had been two weeks since she and Steve had sparred and it was quite obvious that she was training for a big fight. There had been no more Hydra personnel and there were no events that had caused the Avengers or any other hero to go out and save anybody, but she had trained until she looked like she was going to collapse. Steve hadn’t seen her train like this before, not even during the war. Some of the heroes who used the gym to train had been keeping an eye on her, curious as to why she would spend so long in the gym when she had already shown what she could do when she had sparred with Steve.

Bucky’s leg had fully healed and he had started training a little bit harder than usual too. He found that if someone was training hard then he always wanted to match them, or train harder than them- it wasn’t a sign of superiority by any means, it was just a survival instinct and he felt safer if he knew he could match them. It also became like a competition between Astra and Bucky, if one lifted a heavier weight then the other would try to outdo them. It was a healthy competition as they both knew their limits and they would always spot for each other to make sure the other could do it.

They hadn’t sparred; Bucky was too scared of the familiar feeling he still had that warmed his chest and she would rather not relive the memory of fighting the winter soldier. Even if he was good now. They had both eyed up the sparring mats with a curious expression before shaking their heads and purposefully not looking in that general direction again.

“How many?” She was mid pushup when Bucky sat across from her to ask the question. She came to a stop before sitting parallel to him and rolling her shoulders. Judging by the sweat and the pain that coursed through her body, she had done more than expected.

“No idea, quite a lot though.” She shot him a grin as she massaged the knot in her shoulder, she would have to ask Steve to massage it for her seeing as she trusted his hands the most. Bucky looked down at his hands, one bruised and one made of vibranium and flexed his fingers. “What have you been doing in the gym today then?”

He looked up from his hands to see her soft smile. He felt tension fall from his body as he looked at her and his hands fell to his lap. “Just been at the punching bag for a while.”

She had seen him earlier at the bag but she hadn’t realized that it was all he had done. There was a tired expression on his face but he also seemed relaxed with it, she had seen it many times in her life and it was mainly something she saw in old heroes; heroes who had been in so many fights that the only place they felt relaxed was when they were sparring or fighting, the adrenaline helping them feel better. She had been there, endless days of rearing up for a fight and even fighting unnecessarily and countless nights of an itch under her skin. They didn’t tell them how much they would put their bodies through.

No one told the heroes that the fighting and the applause of winning could become so addictive.

She stood up to place her hand on his shoulder, feeling the solid muscle tense underneath it. “Get a shower and some food James.”

His head snapped up as she quickly walked out of the gym with her heart pounding so much that she could hear it when she walked up the stairs to her room. He had jumped up and watched her walk out as his name rang through his head, her voice too familiar. 

_ “James! Where are you? Come back.” Laughter ensued- _

_ She spun around and gawked as she heard him in the large crowd. Her eyes had lit up, tears in them, and she ran towards him and hugged him tightly. “James! I thought you were dead!” _

_ She had pulled back and grasped his face in her hands, “You’re okay yeah?” _

_ He looked her up and down noticing her hair tied back, worry in her eyes and she was wearing a uniform. An army one, from World War Two. _

“Fuck.” He gasped as he stumbled into the wall. He wasn’t sure if it was real or if it was just his mind making up memories as it had before with other people, but it felt real, perhaps too real.

“Mr. Barnes? Do you require assistance?”

He couldn’t talk, trying to figure out if what had floated into his mind was real or not, so he shook his head and closed his eyes. 

“If you are sure Mr. Barnes.” After that, Friday left him to his dangerous mind.

She had noticed the slip up as soon as she had said his name and she had been cursing herself the entire time she had run up the stairs to her room. She had even openly cursed herself as she showered. She should have stayed with him to see how it had affected him (other than the small intake of breath she had heard).

“Friday, please tell Steve that Bucky is in the gym and may need to be checked on.”

“Mr. Barnes doesn’t need assistance, but if I notice his vitals change I will tell Steve straight away,” Friday paused. “Ma’am.”

She scrubbed hard at her skin with the loofah, trying to rid the guilt and worry. She hated that she had to lie to him. It was why she had stayed away when she saw him on the television screen fighting Steve. Her friend, Vega, had held her and rocked her back and forth as she sobbed, not believing that it could be Bucky. Not again.

It wasn’t fair, after all those years of pain and wanting him with her like they used to be, she had to find out he was back when news footage of him fighting Captain America had aired. She had begged the television for Steve to stay safe and for Bucky to stop fighting him. When she had found out Steve had lived, she booked the first flight to New York to meet him, to hug him and welcome him to the future, but seeing Bucky fight him with no remorse... she felt sick and couldn’t even think of seeing him.

It wasn’t that he had become a ruthless killing machine, it was what had happened to him and that the last time she had been with him there was nothing she could do. The only thing she could do was watch how ruthless he had become.

When she got changed from her shower she walked down the stairs to the main room, ready to try and relax and read her book that was in there. She rolled her shoulders and straightened up, telling herself that if he asked anything then she would tell him the truth. Not more lies. The small folded knife in her pocket didn’t give her any comfort like it usually did.

She found nobody downstairs, not a soul, and she found it strange. Usually, there would be at least one Avenger downstairs at all times of the day and even some nights. She looked around with curiosity, no fear or anxiety as she was sure Friday would have told her if anything was wrong. When she got to the kitchen she noticed something large and shiny blocking part of the window so she went outside to investigate it. 

The large, shiny object was a spaceship. She had never seen one in all of her life so she ran her fingers over the smooth metal. It reminded her of the quinjet except bulkier and judging by the voices she could hear, everyone was outside of it. Perhaps it was a mission that was about to happen. She walked around the craft to see the group crowding the ramp that led down from the entrance. Tony spun around and grinned at her, something similar to mischief glinting in his eyes.

“Astra! There you are!” He beckoned her to him, moving slightly so the person sat on the ramp could see her.

“Astria?”

Her eyes widened at the tall blonde in front of her. He had changed, he had put on weight and had grown his hair and beard since she had last caught a glimpse of him on the news fighting with the Avengers and other heroes against Thanos’ minions. He looked a little happier now though, a small grin on his face as he looked at her.

He got up and made his way to her, placing his large hands on either side of her arms. For a second his eyes left her body and scanned the surrounding area, when he saw nothing he tried to fight the disappointment.

“Prince Thor,” she touched his shoulder, flicking her index finger. “How? I don’t understand how I can see you. Your father said-”

“Ah well, my father is dead now.” Thor looked down, tears still burned at the thought of his Father dying. “I am no longer a prince, dear Astria.”

“My apologies my Kin-” 

“I am no King either. The King of New Asgard is Brunhilde.” He noticed the confusion on her face so he continued, his face pained. “Asgard was destroyed by Hela and Surtur. Only a small group of us made it out.”

She hadn’t been home for a long time, she had come to earth before world war one and she had never gone back. She wasn’t able to, no matter how much she had wanted to go back. She had accepted that she would never see anyone from back home again and had accepted that, but the thought of some of her old friends dying made her heartache.

Her hand moved from his shoulder to the hand that still held her bicep and squeezed it trying to not show her grief. She could tell that no one she had cared about had survived.

“Where are your sisters Astria?” She pulled away.

“Dead. Rian died during the war from one of Red Skull’s weapons, Syra has been missing since the late 90s and I can only assume she is dead since there are no traces of her anywhere. Poor Vega killed herself a few years ago.” She laughed bitterly. “Even the brightest stars on Midgard hate it here.”

“It seems we have lost too many, my friend.” Thor was sad, she could see it now, slowly eating away at him even when he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the crown of her head. She let herself relax into him reminiscing of the times they would share a hug when she was part of the royal guard, Thor, always being friendly had been the one to hug and thank her and her sisters after they had helped him. Even if it was just to grab him a drink so he didn’t dehydrate as he continued to train with Warrior Three.

“Yes my friend, we have.”

She pulled away and nodded at him to let him get back to talking to the group. The box Bucky had stolen from the house she had also staked out was in a glass case being held by some of Tony’s bots and Thor turned his attention to it. 

Bucky moved towards her causing her to jump when he spoke to her. “Now it makes sense that you wanted the box.” 

Bucky gave her a look, a look that was clearly trying to figure out what else she was hiding from him. It was a look that made her want to crawl into a hole and never come out. It was a look that made her have to bite her tongue so she didn’t spill every little secret to him.

“Yeah, it isn’t exactly common knowledge.” A stiff shrug followed her answer to punctuate that she was done talking. 

“I’m sorry about your sisters.” He didn’t know why he said it but he just went with it. There was no point not saying it, especially when her sisters' deaths were still painful. He had seen her entire face fall when she mentioned her sisters and all he wanted to do was hold her hand, to let her squeeze and squeeze until some of the hurt had gone.

“It’s okay, you have nothing to be sorry about.” Bucky somehow felt assured, his subconscious relaxing because really, in the back of his mind, he thought it was him who had killed her sisters.

“I’m going to take a walk, a few too many people here for me. Join me?”

Bucky had questions, lots of them. So many that he couldn’t remember them all. She nodded and started following him, enjoying that she could be away from the group. She had felt like a stranger, excluded from them all. It was understandable as some of them she had only known a small time, but she missed having somewhere where she completely belonged.

“Do you not like the ‘I’?” Of all the questions he could have asked, he decided on this one. Bucky cringed at her confused face. “The ‘I’ in Astria, you don’t use it anymore. Do you not like it?”

“I dropped it a while ago when people just ignored it entirely. I don’t mind any variation of my name that I have heard, honestly, so just call me whatever.” 

He held out the crook of his arm, an instinct that had not left him even through all of the mind-wiping, and she accepted it. 

“So tell me about yourself Astra. How did an Asgardian come all the way down to Midgard?” He had been doing his research since Steve came to his aid all those years ago and Asgard and its folk was part of it, especially when he saw Thor in person for the first time. He was awestruck and read whatever was possible, asking Thor questions when he was confused. Thor had told him of the nine realms, even drew the Yggdrasil and a family tree. Not only did it help Bucky with his research, but it helped Thor process his grief.

“A long time ago there were four young royal guards, all but one were orphans. The orphans had a friend called Syra who was a daughter of a member of the royal court. There was an invasion and we were with her when she ran off to find Thor, to protect him. We all followed her and noticed that not only Thor was in trouble, but so was Loki. We just jumped at the monsters trying to hurt the young princes and we ended up killing them with our bare hands out of fear.” She sat down on the bank, pulling Bucky down with her and started pulling at the daisies in the grass.

“Queen Frigga and the All-Father had come charging in after they had destroyed the rest of the army to find us covered in blood protecting the injured princes and baring our teeth. Ever since that day, the All-Father had us trained as royal guards to protect his sons. We would follow them into battle as well as guard them in Asgard. We did it for years and years until one day the All-Father got mad at us.” She paused and crushed the small collection of daisies in her hand, her nails digging into her palm. 

She hadn't told this story in a long time, the last time she spoke it was when Rian had just died and the three remaining had sat at a fire with the Howling Commandos. Vega was curled up in a ball, her head on Morita’s jacket and Syra was pacing with her chest heaving after yelling to every god she could name and cursing them for what had happened to her sister. Bucky had held Astra’s hand while Steve drew in his sketchbook, she didn’t know it yet but Steve had drawn three portraits of Rian for the sisters. He didn’t know what else to do, he just knew that these three women could live a long time and they would never see their sister again, so he drew. He poured every emotion he had into the drawings, mourning the loss of a close friend.

“The All-Father told the entirety of Asgard that we had tried to kill his son. It was a lie, a setup. We found Thor covered in blood and he had a stab wound, it was Syra’s knife but she had been with us the entire time. It was either death for treason or banishment. We got banished with the promise that if we ever saw a god again then it would mean our death.”

Bucky wiped the tears that fell onto her cheek with his thumb.

“We saw Ares when Rian was shot, Vega had a suicide note saying that a kind God had taken pity on her and visited her. I’m not sure about Syra, but today I saw Thor, so either it’s finally my time or because the bastard is dead it doesn’t count.”

He carried on rubbing away the tears and she gave a small grateful smile. Her cheeks were red with embarrassment. “It was cruel of him to make it so you had to wait until your death. Whether you did it or not, which I believe you didn’t, you shouldn’t be taunted with death.”

“That means a lot, thank you.” She sniffled a little and pulled away to just stare at the trees ahead of them. “Tell me a joke will you?”

After a long pause, he looked at her directly in the eye and said, “My life. My life is a complete joke at this point.”

They kept staring at each other for a minute before they both fell into a fit of laughter and she tapped him on the arm with a small tut.

“Your life is not a joke mister, don’t say that.” She scolded and then grinned at him slyly. “I mean maybe your hair is though.”

A gasp of outrage was heard before he tackled her gently so her back was on the ground and he tickled her, only using his flesh arm just in case he pressed to hard with the vibranium. He was good with controlling it, he had control roughly ninety-nine percent of the time but he didn’t want to risk it, not when present reality sometimes changed to memories for a split second. Her giggles were music to his ears as she writhed under him.

“Take it back.” He stopped tickling her so she could get her breath back.

“Never!” She moved so she could scrape his hair back into different positions with her hands. A ponytail, one bun, two buns, a mohawk and then finally, she scraped it all back.

“What are you doing?”

“Seeing whether any hairstyle actually suits you,” she hummed. “My diagnosis is that we will have to shave you bald.”

He gawked at her, only bursting into laughter when he saw a muscle above her lip twitch obviously trying to hide a smile. His head fell forward as he laughed into her neck causing her to squeal when his hair tickled behind her ear. “Bucky, no!”

“When you called me James earlier, I,” He pulled back a little, her arms wrapped around his neck. “I liked it a lot when you called me that.”

She combed her fingers through some of his hair, a habit that she had when they were in the war together and smiled at him. “I can do that.”

He rolled off of her and laid at her side to enjoy the sun warming his skin. He also enjoyed the thick grass he was laid on, it was comfortable and it was the perfect mix of soft grass and firm soil beneath. He really liked the company too, it felt familiar and he found that his body was actively seeking her body heat with his metal hand twitching next to hers. It ghosted the back of her hand and she turned it so she could hold his pinky with her own.

“Have you heard about the party that Stark is throwing in a week or so? It’s for Steve’s birthday.”

“I haven’t, no. I better get his present from my storage facility tomorrow.” She had a habit of buying presents quite well in advance and in her storage facility, there was a selection of presents for Bucky that she had bought when she first saw him on the television and there were a few for Steve. Presents were important to her and she put as much thought into them as possible, it was a shame James would more than likely never see his presents.

“You have to come, it’s this ‘decade dance’ thing and you dress from one of the decades and there will be music from the 1930s to now, but Stark said it will mainly be the decades Steve missed so that he can catch up.” Bucky was genuinely excited about this. She didn’t know if it was the dancing or that it was because it would be Steve’s birthday, but it warmed her chest.

“What decade will you be dressing from?” 

“Probably the early ‘40s, just before I got shipped off as I remember a little bit of it and it will probably make him happy to see the old me.”

“Nope. You are not dressing like that to potentially make someone else happy James. Why don’t you dress as a decade you can’t fully remember? This way you explore and research and wear something you are interested in.” She had a point and he knew it so he nodded.

“How do I know what look I want to go for though?”

She pulled out her phone and started searching fashion that was in each decade waiting for him to say what he liked, what era stood out to him. He would hum at some and disregard others as she scrolled through decades of iconic looks.

“I wish I could see them in person.”

“You can. I know an ex-Shield member and they were head of costumes for any spy work. The collection goes back to the 1800s, just because she is convinced that one day we will need to travel back in time.” She clicked her phone off and turned to look at him as he contemplated. “I can take you tomorrow if you would like.”

“Are you sure? Am I allowed to borrow clothes or just look?”

“You can borrow, I’ve donated a large sum of clothes to her through the years.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She didn’t know it, but bringing Bucky to see all of the clothes her friend held was quite therapeutic for him. She was on a stool admiring one of the skirts she had donated years ago, wondering what she had to do to get it back, while Bucky was being shown the catalogue that held the inventory. After Bucky had written some of the catalogue numbers in his small notebook (a book he brought everywhere incase he remembered anything), he went on his way around the large warehouse admiring anything and everything he found interesting. There were some items that drew him in and he would touch the material, marveling at the texture sometimes. One material that felt like silk made him want to melt as a memory of someone in a dress, so soft he thought he could rip it with a gentle stroke, hugged up to him. For a second he even felt the warmth of them pressed against his side. 

He stepped away from the shirt and moved to catalogue number 666. It was a suit from the war, it felt all too familiar and he shuddered. Everything in the warehouse was organized, each style and season of fashion was in the correct decade and the further back, the further the decade. He found himself in the era of the 1940s, the urge to show Steve that he could be that Bucky Barnes still quite prominent in his head. _ Bucky, you may have changed but you are still him. Nothing to prove to me, pal.  _ Steve had talked to him a few times about this, but Bucky still felt like he had something to prove.

Again, he moved on. He searched aisle upon aisle until he finally found what he wanted and he was deeply satisfied when he grabbed each component to write down the tag numbers. He didn’t know why he chose the outfit, especially with the colour not being something he would usually wear, but he picked it nonetheless.

When he was done and went back to the front of the warehouse he saw that Astra had her cheek resting on her fist and her eyes were drooping. He gave Astra’s friend his little scrap of paper with the tag information on before turning to an almost-asleep Astra.

“Ready to go?” She nodded at her friend and started her way to the door with Bucky in tow. She was spinning her car keys (well, actually Tony’s, but she liked the car and was thinking of ways to get it off of him) between her fingers and he noticed the small little stumble her fingers made. She was exhausted.

“I didn’t mean to take so long, sorry.” 

“What? You didn’t take long at all.” 

“But you were falling asleep so you were bored, which means I took too long.” He grabbed the keys as they fell from her hands when her fingers shook too much to grab them in a smooth action. “I’m driving.”

“Okay but don’t crash the car, I plan to get this from Tony even if it kills me.” Her shoulders were slumped as she trudged to the other side of the car. The seats were comfy and Astra could have curled up right then and there to fall asleep, but she turned the radio on so she could try and stay awake. Bucky clicked in his seat belt and gave hers a quick glance to make sure it was in, judging by her squirming if she could go without a seatbelt then she would have.

Queen was playing on the radio and her eyes were struggling to stay open. It was actually torture for her to keep them open but she did it, only willing to let her guard down when she was at the complex, safe in her own room.

They drove in silence, only Bucky’s tapping to a few of the songs playing broke that silence. It was night and he enjoyed the neon lights as they drove, it was fun to see and made some of the more boring buildings more exciting to look at, but he mostly enjoyed how the pink and purple lights from the clubs on the sidewalk shone against her face as they stopped in traffic. He wanted to take a photograph of her, not wanting to forget the way she looked in that moment.

“You took a wrong turn.”

“I didn’t. I’m treating you to food, seeing as you put up with me being there so long.” He was at ease as the drive continued and chuckled when her jaw dropped.

“James, I wasn’t ‘putting’ up with you. I enjoyed it there as I looked through what she had. It also seemed like you had fun.” She pursed her lips for a moment, hesitant before she placed her hand on his arm to give it a light squeeze. “I mean it.”

He had to suppress a shudder and he gulped rather audibly as he tried to figure out why his body felt so warm. They wore a pair of matching blushes as she yanked her hand away with an apology.

He pulled into the parking space, his body still thrumming with confusion, and got out of the car welcoming the cool air. She kept her distance, regretting her life choices instantly until Bucky went to match her pace and placed his hand at the small of her back to lead her to the small diner. She only relaxed when he gave her a shy smile, keeping his hand on her back until they sat down.

The menus looked old and he felt a flicker of worry at how the food would be. The diner didn’t look too bad but he felt pressured all of a sudden for it to be good. He knew that when he was younger (when he and Steve managed to scrounge enough money that is) he would go to the fanciest place he could get to and even then some of those places were awful. Some places just had awful decor with rips and holes where there definitely shouldn’t be and some places made the worst food in the world.

Hopefully, this restaurant would be one of those amazing occasions where it looked rough around the edges, but was actually amazing. His choice was easy, it was a nice simple burger with a side of fries and some Coke, whereas Astra made sure to read every option on the small menu before making her decision. It was a club wrap with a strawberry milkshake and the blush on her cheeks was a little more prominent when he got caught staring at her.

“So, you picked what you are wearing to Steve’s party, yeah?” 

Bucky nodded while he tried to quickly swallow the bite of burger he had just taken. “Yeah, I liked the outfit in general so if it’s comfortable and I have more chances to wear something like it, then I think I may buy something like it.” 

“I’m glad you managed to find something that you liked.” 

“So am I, there were so many options to pick from. There are so many decades I have lived in, but I have missed out on all the clothes and the trends. Have you picked your outfit yet?” Bucky crammed some of the fries into his mouth as he looked at her with interest.

“I have a few ideas. It’s a little hard to pick when I’ve been around for so long.” Her fingers tapped along the glass of her milkshake. “Do I decide on comfort? On style? Or just on plain old nostalgia? So many decisions.” 

“I think that you would be stylish whatever you wear and if you want to act on nostalgia you can do that at home or you know, those weird era events that Steve is constantly trying to sign me up for, so go for comfort.” They were looking directly at each other now and she was soaking up every word he said to her with clear interest on her face. He had trouble written all over his face. “I mean you should just go and wear whatever the hell you want, doubt an era could not suit you.”

“You charmer.” 

Seeing the proud smirk and blush on his face made the heartbreak she was feeling all the worthwhile.


End file.
